Lacuna

The Bible is a hugely intriguing book. There are so many thousands of little, medium, huge details, laws, wars, massacre, and wonderful characters, stories, and confusing motivations. You could spend your entire life studying a single chapter, a single character, a single passage and many have. Generations and generations of people have looked at these same words. Over the past few weeks I have felt almost warm inside as I read this book. I knew it wasn't because I believed in anything that was being said or agreed with it. No, I finally realized it WAS because so many people have read these words, BELIEVED these words (I know capitalization for emphasis is so early 2000s'). In that way, it makes God real, it makes what is being said real. It is mythos. It is the reason for everything. Indeed, as I read further into the Bible, I felt more and more "whole" as a person. I felt completed in some fascinating new way. Finally, I could and can have a dialogue. I could sit down on a bench like Forest Gump and talk to an old lady about what I felt about the Bible.

The Bible is the most talked about book that nobody has read! Politicians will ramble on about their religion for hours and can't even recite the 10 commandments. Men will shout in loud speakers on the street corner about the Apocalypse, Armageddon, the beast, 666, the whore, and the 4 horsemen. Rogue scholars on the History Channel and late night radio will preach about aliens and u.f.o.s and the anunnaki and all sorts of far out theories. Your parents, your grandparents, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, everyone has a dialogue with God, yet few have actually taken the time to read it. I am trying, and I feel different inside.

I read Erich Auerbach's "Odysseus's Scar" and agree with his conclusions. The bible, unlike The Odyssey, derives its power from being vague. Without being too descriptive, but descriptive enough, anyone can have their own conversation with what is going on. It is this dialogue with the material, this extremely personal way the bible connects that makes it still have the relevance it has today. Like I said earlier, generations and generations of human beings have read this material and yet there is no definitive interpretation. In Homer's Odyssey, there is no room for the reader's interpretation. You know exactly what motivates the characters, you no exactly how Odyssey got that scar, you no exactly why Poseidon is angry with Odysseus, every minute detail. This is what traps it in a certain age and place. This is what also frees up the Bible. Nothing is clear, everything is open to debate, and everything can be grafted onto something in anybody's life and in any age.

However, sometimes the Bible can be so vague it's near impossible to understand what is actually going on. Who are the nephilim? Why are their giants in the bible? Where did Enoch go off to? And this is where I am going to head to waters Dr. Sexson probably doesn't approve of. However, I am deeply interested in this lacuna. This special thing that wafts through the Bible like a smoke, yet the fire can't be found. At least not inside the Bible itself. The Book of Enoch is non-canonical for Western churches (however, it is the Ethiopian Orthodox Church). According to Wikipedia, its older parts date from 300 B.C. (about 150 years after Genesis was completed), and it's newer sections (Book of Parables) to around the 1st century BC. It's inside this book that I found myriad of explained gaps and lacuna. This is a diversion mainly for myself, however if anyone else is curious, don't be afraid to read on and see what I found. I will go through the first few chapters.

Chapter 1-6

Enoch warns us to obey God, or we are fucked. But a lot of this material really is beautiful.

Chapter 7

Yes, Chapter is 7 is good. It begins with the angels discussing among themselves how hot human women are. (Seems to be a recurring theme amongst men, don't you think?) They all agree that they should descend to earth and take human wives for themselves. Why should the human men get all the fun? Their leader is named Samyaza, who is afraid that if they do this, he will get all the blame. But all the others reassure Samyaza that they will all accept the repercussions together. Wow, this sounds like a frat house gone wild. This could totally happen today with a bunch of drunk college students talking about raiding a sorority and promising the ring-leader that he won't be alone if they get caught.

Their are 200 angels in all who decide to descend to earth via Mount Armon (which derives its name from the Hebrew word for curse). The names of their cheifs include these: Samyaza, Urakabarameel, Akibeel, Tamiel, Ramuel, Danel, Azkeel, Saraknyal, Asael, Armers, Batrall, Anane, Zavebe, Samsaveel, Ertael, Turel, Yomyael, and Arazyal.

So their panty-raid is a success and the 200 angels start marrying human women. They teach them sorcery, incantations, and the dividing of roots and trees. So far this story is reminding of Prometheus, who gave fire to humans and was punished by Zues. I look forward to hear what happens to the horndogs from heaven. (Can't be anything good, I've seen God kill for much less.) Anyway, the angels know their wives, and the women give birth to the giants (also called the nephilim). The nephilim stood three hundred cubits (137.16 meters) high and devoured all of the mens' food until it was impossible for men to feed themselves. So things turn ugly fast, and the giants start to eat men, birds, reptiles, fish, and each other. They also enjoyed drinking the blood of their victims. I remind you in Leviticus that drinking blood is punishable by death, and the eating of men, birds, and reptiles is also frowned upon.

This is a fun read, and helps explain some of the lacuna. Where did King Og come from? How bout David? Now you know the rest of the story. And these ain't no Big Friendly Giants either, these are Fleshlumpeaters, Bonecrunchers, Manhuggers, Childchewers, Meatdrippers, Gizzardgulpers, Maidmashers, Bloodbottlers, and Butcher Boys. These are mean cannibalistic monsters (and this ain't a hyperbole).

Chapter 8

Further detail about Azazyel teaching men how to make swords, knives, shields, breastplates, mirrors, bracelets, ornaments, paint, eyebrow beautifying techniques, stone use, and dyes. It appears the angels taught man the art of war, and how to be prideful. In doing so they corrupted man. Impiety and sex increases and man starts doing weird stuff like sorcery and star watching. It goes further into detail. Amazarak teaches sorcerers and dividers of roots (still don't know what this means exactly). Armers teaches the solution to sorcery (white magic mayhap?). Barkayal teaches men how to observe the stars. Akibeel teaches signs (not sure what this means). Tamiel teaches astronomy. Asaradel teaches men the motion of the moon.

Men, who are apparently getting fed up with the teaching and giants eating them, scream to the heavens.

Chapter 9

The angels that are still in heaven--Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Suryal, and Yuriel--look down on the chaos. They agree what's going down below is pretty messed up. They beg God to do something, anything, save them! save them! In their plees, they tell God that the fallen angels have polluted the earth and that the souls of the dead are piling up outside heaven's gates.

I am starting to believe that this story may be commentary on the pagan gods of the day. The jews believed that idoltry was a terrible sin (which is pretty synomynous with paganism). These angels sound like they could be interchangeable with any god from the ancient world.

Chapter 10

God speaks. He sends the angel Arsayalalyur to Noah. He tells Arsayalalyur to warn Noah about the oncoming flood and how to save himself from it. This also clears up some more lacuna. Before, it was some what vague why God found the earth's people's so unclean. Now we know why: it was because the fallen angel's offspring had diluted the gene pool. God wants his people's genes clean from the corruption from up above. See? Maybe God isn't so bad in this story after all.

God then proceeds to tell Gabriel to slaughter the Nephilim, the children of the Watchers (the fallen ones). However, God tells Gabriel to do it in a weird way: excite them so they will kill each other. I am not quite sure of the significance of doing it in that way. Maybe angels aren't allowed to kill each other? We also know Gabriel must have failed in the massacre, because giants are still very much alive in David's time.

God then orders Michael to go to Samyaza and the others and bind them underneath the earth for seventy generations. In vivid detail, God says their punishment underground will be great. They will "burn in the lowest depths of the fire in torments". I wonder if this story is the origin of hell? I know, like Plotz noted, the Torah does mention a "sheol". But this is the first time I've seen anything close to hell mentioned.

God then goes on to say things that will be destroyed: oppressors and evil works (idoltry?). Again, this seems to confirm what I've had a growing suspician of: this is the origin story of the pagan traditions. When god says "Let every evil work be destroyed," I think he is referring to idols. God then tells us that the world will be purified after the flood. Saints will give thanks. The earth will be cultivated with righteousness, with trees, vines, and olives. Everyone will be righteous, free from oppression and injustice, and all nations will love God.

Chapter 11

Erased from the history books.

Chapter 12

Enoch is mentioned for the first time since the beginning. Again, lacuna is being cleared up left and right. You wondered where Enoch went in Genesis? He went to talk to God. God orders Enoch (self-described "scribe of righteousness") to tell Watchers that they will "never obtain peace and remission of sin... they shall not rejoice in their offspring; they shall behold the slaughter of their beloved; shall lament for the destruction of their sons; and shall petition for ever; but shall not obtain mercy and peace." Wonder how they take the news?

Chapter 13

Enoch tells Azazyel, the Watcher who taught man sorcery, the good news (or the bad news for him). The Watchers tremble in fear. They beg Enoch to give God a good word for them. Ha. That's a little funny. Reminds me of a brother catching his younger brother doing something naughty. Then the younger brother begs the elder to put in a good word to his parents about the ordeal. Anyway, also like disobeying children, the Watchers are afraid to look up. They are afraid to look their parent in the eye. Again, kinda hilarious. So Enoch writes a prayer for them.

Enoch travels across the waters of Danbadan, reading his prayer. He falls asleep, and starts dreaming. He dreams about the Watchers being tortured for what they did on earth. Then he wakes up, and like a mean child, tells the Watchers what will happen to them in the coming days.

Chapter 14

Enoch repeats what was in early chapters, then discusses his psychedelic dream. A vibrating tongue of fire appeared before him. He enters it and is inside a building with walls made of crystal stones. Enoch goes into further detail about flaming walls, and ceiling that looked like the stars, but I'll move past that and get to the juicy stuff. Enoch happens upon a throne that is made of frost, and underneath, rivers of flame weaved. God is in the throne, and he tells Enoch to approach Him. If you are curious, it says His robe was "brighter than the sun, and whiter than snow". No mortal can see His face (hmmm... curious... from my blog last semester The Power of Eyes , also interesting, ‘Biocentrism’: How life creates the universe and Mysterious Symbols: The Eye) Enoch says, "NO angel was capable of penetrating to view the face of Him, the Glorious and the Effulgent; nore could any mortal behold Him." This is really connecting the dots for me. Keep it coming Enoch old buddy.

Chapter 15

God condemns the fallen angels. He says they were made to be purely spiritual beings, eternal, and dwelling in heaven. They have polluted themselves by going with women, because these were not for them. He condemns the giants, "... who have been born of spirit and of flesh" and shall be called "evil spirits". Some areas in this chapter lead me to believe that the giants may be one in the same with demons or "earth spirits". God says, "The spirits of the giants shall be like clouds, which shall oppress, corrupt, fall, content, and bruise upon the earth." I am curious about what the angels relationship with God really is. I wish I knew more about them.

Chapter 16

The giants' spirits will not be judged like a man or woman's. Do their spirits wander the earth then?

Chapter 17

Enoch is brought to the top of a mountain. He receives a vision of hell.

Chapter 18

Now he sees heaven. He observes the stones that supports the earth, the four winds, and the pillars of heaven. He witnesses seven stars, "... like great blazing mountains". He is told by and angel, "This place, until the consummation of heaven and earth, will be the prison of stars, and the host of heaven." This seems to refer to the seven celestial bodies that were known at the time: the moon, the sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. God is displeased with these bodies because they do not obey the season. God binds them, "until the period of the consummation of their crimes in the secret year". I can't make hides nor tails of this, but it sounds like God will punish these wandering celestial bodies on judgement day.

Chapter 19

The fallen ones, "... made men profane, and caused them to err; so that they sacrificed to devils as to gods". Again, this is the origin story of paganism. Another interesting thing: the wives of the fallen ones will be judged just as harshly as the fallen ones themselves.

Chapter 20

A list of good angels: Uriel (presides over clamor and terror), Raphael (presides over spirits of men), Raguel (inflicts punishment on the world and the luminaries), Michael (presides over human virtue, commands the nations), Sarakiel (presides over the spirits of the children of men that transgress), and Gabriel (who presides over the serpents, over paradise, and over the angels). Over serpents? I could have more to say on this later.

Chapter 21

Oddly enough, it sounds like a black hole is being described. Hell may in fact be a concentrated mass of suns.

Chapter 22

More crazy stuff: the angels then take Enoch to what looks like purgatory. There he runs into the spirit of Abel, who is screaming, "...and who will accuse that brother [Cain], until his seed be destroyed from the face of the earth." The good souls and the bad souls are separated from each other by chasm, by water, by light. Sinners are burried in the earth after they die where they are tortured until judgement day.

Chapter 23

Enoch travels to the sun itself.

I'll leave it that and stop at chapter 23. Again, this was for my own amusement, and I thought others might find it interesting. I'll probably refer to this post in later blogs if it suits my fancy. Lacuna is being cleared up left and right. We learn more about Cain and Abel, about the giants, about Noah, about many things that went on. I choose to view this source as something like Dante's Divine Comedy. Not canon, but it adds to the text, and what people may have understood the text was. I find many things about the Book of Enoch crazy awesome and fun to read. Whoever wrote this had an amazing imagination. I would love to travel back to his time and see what it was actually like. Where did these ancient stories originate from? Was their a single point? How did this rich, interesting story come to be? The Book of Enoch is an important one. It adds background and layers to the rest of the Bible that really seem to suffer from a lack of backdrop. This sets it up. I understand why this was dropped from canon. It was too wild, too weird for anybody to accept, and Judaism and Christianity probably wouldn't have made it the 21st Century with it intact. Still, it's important for any biblical scholar to read to understand the text properly.

All the king's horses, and all the king's men

Where to start? I found the last class kinda awesome. Perhaps I got too hung up on the idea of a "jealous" God. Perhaps it's really just a cover-up for His angry, juvenile acts of genocide, plagues, foreskin mutilation, and general debauchery. God really does seam like an out of control toddler throwing his toys around the living room, screaming orders at his little army men to wage war on another. BOOM! BAM! Plastic soldiers falling left and right, heroes dying heroically, others rising through the ranks to take their place. He gets angry at one group for not obeying his orders and whispers under his breath, "This means death". God wants entertainment! Come on, if you were a this huge all-powerful force, how would you get YOUR fun? You have to rely on things you create... but better than books, movies, television, instead actual living specimens.

I like this idea. Love it, actually. God is some kid playing with blocks. He stacks them carefully, deliberately, making sure nothing is out of place. He breaths softly, terrified that a simple breeze could knock it all down. Finally he is finished. Finally his grand work stands before him. Every brick in place. Everything where it needs to be. He calls in his parents to admire his work. Awesome. Perfect. Beautiful. They leave. He is alone. He smashes it to pieces. It collapses, chaos. The bricks scatter across the room falling under his bed, behind dressers, into corners, everywhere. This is what he built it for, to watch it fall to pieces, the love of watching it all burn, the world falling to pieces, something beautiful ending. I did this as a kid all the time. I would often stack plastic army men around the brick tower, plus action figures of bigger stance. Then I would slam my hot wheel cars into the structure until all the "men" were dead and the tower was in pieces. Other times I would construct huge stories in my head and would smash action figures into eachother. People would die, other people would live. Is this, essentially, what God wanted? Did he construct the universe, the earth, people, so he could watch it all collapse into chaos?

Considering the story of Abraham sacrificing his own child, I got to admit I liked the idea of it being a story of supreme faith. However, if you asked me now, I'd have to say it was probably of no consequence. I'm not referring to the hobbled together stories that are in the Bible, I refer instead to God himself. He seems to value human life very little. He'll kill for improper incense, questioning Moses, complaining, just about anything and do it a whole list of ways: plague, snakes, fire, and earth opening up. Was God just yanking around His favorite servant? Did He really care whether Isaac lived or not? Maybe the question I should ask myself when considering God's actions should be this: what would I do if I was 9 years-old? If I was 9 years-old would it be about faith? No, it would be about testing my wrath, should I kill or not today? My eyes would flicker, lives are on the line, must decide, live or die? live or die? live or die? I can see, no feel, the story playing out in my mind. Live or die? live or die? Abraham bends down, knife in his hand, getting ever closer to Isaac's throat. I stop it. Today, I say, "Today your son may live, Abraham."

To add another layer on top of this mess: did God not just basically speak the universe into existence? Did He not create us out of clay? Maybe this is all just going on in His mind, and He's bashing clay figures into each other, sitting in some mud hut somewhere in ancient Egypt?

A few more things swirling around in my head for awhile: Fugitive stories. I have have had a lot of fun trying to come up with some. My favorite so far is the movie District 9. The story revolves around a man marked by the military-industrial complex because he is turning into an alien "Prawn". It goes a lot more depth, but they basically want him because he holds the secret to using the alien's weaponry. Their weaponry is DNA-based, so only the Prawn can use it, but since the main-character is turning into a Prawn, the military believe they can use him. The movie is basically an extended chase-sequence, but the fugitive story line is there. Who are we kidding, the fugitive story line is everywhere, in every movie, every book, everything. Why? because the archetype is so intertwined with the image of an anti-hero, and this is the age of anti-heroes.

Lonely God

I posed a question in my last blog. It was a question I didn't know the answer to right away, and still don't really know. What are God's motives for helping the Israelites? For telling them the law and to worship Him? For freeing them from Egypt and returning them to Canaan? Surely there is a reason. Nobody does anything just because. (But then again, maybe God was just bored and needed something to do.) It's hard to look inside His mind, because it's different from our own. I can only conjure up guesses by what He actually says and does. The answer I come to is this: God is lonely.

He needs the Israelites to talk with Him, to worship Him, to love Him. He needs companionship, love, and conversation. Isn't that why He created humans in the first place? Because He was a lonely God. Maybe He is so terrified to be left alone that he will do anything to keep his followers believing in his power. God is like a man who beats and abuses his wife so she won't leave him. He is terrified what the world would be like without her, so he does the only thing he knows how: violence and destruction. What if God needs us more than we need Him?

I will follow up tomorrow, still got a lot of studying to do.

Exodus

I finished with Exodus and thought I would list off some interesting things I found. But first, my overall impression. Exodus is boring compared to Genesis, and I found Moses lacking as a character, at least compared to Abraham, Jacob and Joseph. He seems to be meek, afraid, and overly obedient. I prefer the faith of Abraham, the swindling of Jacob, and the rising through the ranks power of Joseph.

My quick thoughts:

1. God appears to be causing Pharoah's heart to "harden". That is, it is God that won't let the Istraelites leave; He does this by influencing Pharoah's mind. I thought this was odd, but let it go as another strange word choice. Then I read "The Good Book," and realized this was wishy-washy at best, disturbing at worst. The only reason why God does this to (dare I say it?) poor Pharoah, is because He wants to show His power. He wants to terrify the Hebrews into worshipping him. So the plagues weren't really about terrifying the Egyptians at all, it was actually about terrifying the Israelites.

2. Another interesting thing, Moses and his brother Aaron are descended from Levi. The same Levi that Jacob spoke so ill of on his death bed. Jacob says,

"Simeon and Levi are brothers;
weapons of violence are their swords;
May I never come into their council;
may I not be joined to their company--
for in their anger they killed men,
and at their whim they hamstrung oxen.
Cursed be their anger, for it is fierce,
and their wrath, for it is cruel!
I will divide them in Jacob,
and scatter them in Israel." (Genesis, 49.5-7)

So Exodus could almost be taken as a redemption story. A story of a wicked house finally coming into its own and becoming priestly. And Moses does show his anger many times. He destroys the first tablet, he orders the deaths of 3,000 of his fellows, and he always seems to be angry at the Israelites. (Not saying that I wouldn't be, with all their belly-aching. Hey, If I had seen the plagues, the sea part, and food basically fall from the sky, I would not be questioning God's power.) Again, it seems as God doesn't favor those that are powerful, wealthy, and great men. He prefers lessers from a lesser house. Moses has grown from a whiner himself, to a man capable of strength and leadership. Maybe I was too hard on the old man.

You could also see this another way, as God actually showing his approval of what Levi and Simeon did... but I really don't think... right? I mean... no, God wouldn't.... never.

3. It almost seems as if the people who wrote Genesis and Exodus believed other gods existed. I think I remember this term to be "henotheists". The belief other gods exist, but that your's is the TRUE god. Another term, "Iconoclast", is the destruction of other religious symbols that are not yours. (Such as invading another country, and destroying all their religious symbols.) Again, very important. God supports "Iconoclasm" tooth and nail, and believes if this isn't done, the Israelites will be corrupted and start worshipping other gods. Which brings me to another point:

4. God, who loves saying He is a "Jealous God", finally throws his cards down. I don't remember the exact location, but God says He is Jealous with a capital "J". God is God, God is Jealous, Jealous is Jealous. I find it interesting that God is so jealous that He believes His name can be interchanged with the adjective. I AM WHO I AM. I AM JEALOUS. So is God actually in fear for the Israelites' souls? or is he more in fear of having no one to worship him? of being jealous that they have found a new god? And if God is afraid, what does that say about his power? Remember what a wise, little, green man once said, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hates leads to suffering." What is God's motives in this story?

conception

The old man in the suit stood on the sidewalk, a stack of little green bibles next to him. In his outstretched arm he held the little holy book. "F**k" I whispered under my breath. "Not these people." I get closer and closer, couldn't stop now. Everyone else ignored him... but I couldn't. I never can. He had white hair, and a smile on his face. "Good morning," he said. "Good morning," I said back. The man looked at me expectedly. "Okay," I tell him, "I'll take one." He hands it to me, and I smile back at him. I gain as much distance as I can before I look back, checking how many people saw me grab a bible.

And hence I was saved. At least the man hoped so. (But who knows? he thinks, I can only hope.) The man probably reported back that night that he had given out 20 or so bibles. Oddly, I'm now a part of that man's life.

Today I stood outside Reid for awhile. I tried to call someone on my cell phone, but he didn't pick up. Because of that I left late and ran into someone I hadn't seen since last semester.

One day I found a note on the ground. On it was a name. I returned it the person later that day. That note fucked up my life for a while.

I wonder if Moses was chosen, or did he stumble into God by accident?

Question with boldness even the existence of a God

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

I was sitting in the living room, reading the bible. My feet were in the air, relaxed, book in hand, eyelids half-open... as my roommate watched television. I chuckled softly, then turned to him. "Hey, this passage is kinda funny. I always took the story of Abraham almost sacrificing his son as act of faith, instead it looks like it's an act of fear!" Now, this would have been fine with any run-of-the-mill English major. But my roommate is no English major. He rejects evolution, the big bang theory, believes Jonah was consumed by a whale, and takes the Bible as a history book. (Lord knows where he thinks dinosaur fossils come from.) Now, we all walk a fine line between faith and science. Why do we believe something? Is it because it's inherently good? Or has it been put into our minds by outside forces with an agenda? Would rejecting your world view make you change yourself in ways you could not fathom?

It is important to question boldly everything. from the dust on your desk to the stars in the sky to the very existence of God. And that means turning a critical eye even to the things you cherish the most. Nothing should be held sacred, held so holy that questions can no longer be asked. That BEGATS corruption and evil. And religion is no different.

When God tells a complying Abraham, "'Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God,'" (Genesis 22.12). Is this the story supreme faith I've been led to believe it is? Abraham has so much love and appreciation for God that he will sacrifice his favorite child? It appears the answer is no. Instead, it's because he's afraid of what God might do to him. For most people losing his or her child would be the worst thing, but not for Abraham? What is Abraham so scared of? Losing his land? His wife? His own life? Seems Abraham may actually be acting selfishly.

And I said this aloud... to my roommate.

Things got ugly. He eventually said, "Stop reading the Bible around me."

I said, "I thought you liked the Bible."

"But you question everything inside. You have no respect for the material."

And I will leave that crude thought to simmer inside your English major head.

Nephilim and the fallen angels

One verse in Genesis I found particularly fascinating:

"The Nephilim were on the earth in those days--and also afterward--when the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans, who bore children to them. These were the heroes of old, warriors of renown. (Genesis Chapter 6.4)

Upon first inspection, I assumed the "sons of God" were humans, but this seems to not be the case. The "sons of God" appear to be, instead, fallen angels. The Book of Enoch (a text left on the cutting room floor) goes into further detail about these "fallen angels" and their reign of terror on man. It is also interesting that this passage is directly before the story of the flood. Was the great storm intended to drown out angels and the "nephilim"?

Here's where I like to get conspiratorial. I love conspiracy. I love linking things together. I love making connections, finishing a sudoku, a puzzle, all that wonderful, aha! feelings! (I also like simple algebra... but obviously not too much, I'm here.) What if these "fallen angels" were one in the same with the pagan gods? And this line, "The Nephilim [offspring of fallen angels and human women] ... were the heroes of old, warriors of renown." How many hero epics are there that mix gods and humans together? What if the Hercules, Gilgamesh were real people? Apollo, Sirius, Dionysus, Horus, Marduk... what if they were all real.

And who doesn't love that flood disasters seem to echo around all ancient mythologies? My theory (assuming some sort of ancient flood is real) is that some sort of ancient warming caused the water levels to rise. (Mayhap causing Atlantis to sink in to the sea? mwahahahahaha. okay, I'm done with this.)

Genesis is actually really fun to read, surprisingly so. I find I can approach it from several different angles and still have a blast reading it. The first time I encountered most of this material (like most Biblical material) was on the History Channel, so it's kind of interesting reading it for myself and not from the mouth of some other dude. Until next time.

Chaos, chaos, chaos

I'm actually finding the Bible a lot more interesting than I was expecting. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe I'm supposed to struggle reading this, the way God intended. (I know I'm not supposed to approach this material that way, but it's hard to help it.) One of the things I am most curious about is something the Bible never seems to truly address: How is God communicating with Noah, Abraham, Isaac and the others? Is He their physically, is He a white cloud above, is He a disembodied voice? Who knows? Could be anything... Morgan Freeman, Samuel L. Jackson, the baboon from The Lion King, anything. One thing is common: the people know it is God they are being spoken to from.

Something else (or should I say someone else) I found interesting was Jacob. First off, it's kind of odd that God is playing favorites at all, and second off, He seems to have chosen the cunning trickster. I find this fascinating. The God of the Old Testament seems to enjoy flawed, almost unremarkable people. Like Plotz noted, there doesn't seem to be anything special about Abram, other than he has a hot wife apparently. And Jacob appears to be a confidence man, conning his kind brother out of his inheretance. It leaves one to question reality. What does the God from this Bible (or the people writing it) really want from us?

It's almost as if the chaos of Genesis' storyline is actually making a statement in itself. Life is chaos, our lives, everything chaos, chaos, chaos. We can't control it, we can't change who we are, we just are here. Completely and unmovably and nothing, not even God, can change that. Life just happens. There really is no more to it than that.

Genesis and the army of dragons

Chapter 1

After rereading the first chapter of Genesis for like the kazillionth time (seems like this is public education's favorite biblical story!), I was distressed. How does God know to create plants, the creeping things, light, dark, stars, and heavens, sun, blah, blah, blah... Did He have pre-contact with said things or was He just kinda... I don't know... green things with leaves, that would be sweet! And animals and birds! Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds cool, man.

For some reason I see Mickey Mouse with a wand and wearing a giant blue hat conjuring up mountains and trees; except Mickey is old with a giant beard, muscles rippling under his toga (maybe chewing on the end of cigar... eyes squinted... Oh jeez, that would be cool if God looked like Clint Eastwood).

But then I wonder what I would do if I was God. I certainly wouldn't make plants and be ho-hum boring "this is good" garbage, and I sure as hell wouldn't create something in my own image. No, I would create dragons, then dragons with spikes, dragons with fire breath, dragons that were part robot, all sorts of dragons, dragon after dragon. I don't even really like dragons, but dammit if I wouldn't create an army of them. And I would ride bareback into battle! But wait, my dragon army has nothing to kill, dominate, or for that matter eat, would they turn towards me next? Their master becomes their dinner? (which brings up another age old question: could God create a rock so heavy He couldn't lift it?) Suddenly things get more complicated! Now I have to create a comparative force! An army of squid, yes, yes, that's right, an army of squid...

Okay, now I see God's eternal wisdom. Plants, they are pretty good aren't they? I like plants, you like plants, everyone likes plants. Gooooooood.

I use to wonders why God needed to rest on the 7th day. I think I figured out the answer: he'd been spending ages making dragon armies. Finally, he's like, "Dude, I can finally chill. I can finally relaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxx, I'll make some plants, and some little naked nudes... WHAT THE !!!!???? What's with the eating from the tree of knowledge? Seriously, didn't want to do this to you... but you're kicked out. Get a job, get outa my house... I need your room for my treadmill anyway."

Okay, I didn't really accomplish anything from writing this.